HOROSCOPES for MODERNS ARCHIVES

Intelligent horoscopes for smart people.

“People who dismiss astrology do so out of either ignorance or rationalism. Rationalists have their place, but their limited assumptions and methods must be kept out of the arts. Interpretation of poem, dream or person requires intuition and divination, not science.”
Camille Paglia

🗓 MAY 2021

WHEN THE SUN ENTERS Taurus the light show shifts from the sperm to the egg. The concentrated stillness of the ovum—a solar system unto itself—contains all of life’s mysteries—including the sperm’s origin. And for all of the determined headbanging we associate with Aries, it’s the egg’s prerogative—the egg chooses which sperm will enter the circle. (MORE)

🗓 APRIL 2021

WITH PLUTO AS A STAND-IN for COVID, the freedom blast we’ve waited for might look more like one of those Spring Break cluster fucks that were broadcasted from Florida recently. As I suggest to my clients: COVID + hormones = forced herd immunity (squared by Mother Nature). (MORE)

🗓 MARCH 2021

CONSIDER ELECTRONIC MEDIA’S invasive enmeshment with our lives. What the fuck? In the last two decades the internet—acting as a universal nervous system—has invaded our homes (and bank accounts) across the globe. Who controls this arrangement? And why has it been commodified to the point where only three or four gargantuan corporations operate, monitor, and censor it? Stay tuned for Pluto’s ingress into Aquarius in 2023 and the monumental antitrust challenges that will follow. (MORE)

“FREDERICK WOODRUFF is like a four-dimensional eyeball capable of not just understanding and interpreting bodies in space, but translating their movements into the entire socio-political, psychological zeitgeist.” —Cintra Wilson, author of Fear and Clothing, Unbuckling American Style